Going to dedicate this chapter to one of my closest friends, Naveen. She's going through a rough patch in her life and I hope everything will improve soon. The song used at the end was given to me by her to use in this FF. Love you! xx
"Have you got lectures today?"
She needed escape, even just for the smallest of moments, she needed escape!
He looked at the text, bewildered, with a feeling at the back of his mind that there was something wrong.
"No jaan not today, what's up? Are you okay?"
She hugged the phone to her chest, a small tear escaping her eyes. Why did he care so much? Would it kill him to be mean for once? No that's why she loved him, with all her heart. Why was fate so cruel, to him, to her? She needed to tell him, as soon as he came she'd tell him.
"Yeh I'm good :). Do you wanna come over seeing as none of us are doing anything? xx"
He was confused now, something was up, something that she wasn't telling him. Maybe she wanted to tell him in person. His heart was beating a bit faster now, an unusual feeling of dread was overtaking him. All of a sudden he was scared that he would lose her, that fate was about to take an ugly turn.
"Okay yeh babe why not. But how come you don't have anything on today? Don't you guys have something on literally everyday?"
He knew for definite that she wasn't off today, they never had off days, not this early on in the course anyway.
She knew he could tell something was wrong, he always could but she just wanted to see his face.
"Not today hunny, lectures got cancelled, lecturer fell sick :P. Stop asking random questions and just come over! xx"
That was a plausible enough reason right? He would definitely believe that.
"Okey doke jaan I'll come over xx"
----
She opened the door to a smiling Arnav, he was dressed in cream chinos and a blue shirt, that was closer in shade to lilac, bringing out his handsomeness. His smile automatically vanished as he took her in his arms. "What's wrong jaan?" Khushi had made an attempt to hide the sorrow on her face, the tear streaks of last night, she'd put an extra layer of make-up on and yet he noticed. "Nu..nothing, is something wrong?" He scrutinised her face, fully aware that she was lying, fully away that she had been crying. "Were you crying?" His voice was concerned, soft, his eyes almost fearful."No! Why would you think that?" Her face was more composed this time, her tone more convincing. "Chorro, stop staring at my face and picking out random details," she said lightly brushing her fingers against his jaw, he looked down at her hand and then back at her face, still unconvinced. "I'm sorry about last night," she then whispered looking into those dark brown eyes, seeking protection, seeking escape. His hands slid down her arms then slowly clasped her hands as he moved into the room, their eyes still holding each other, refusing to look away. His arms then slowly slid around her waist, holding her close whilst he kicked the door closed, still scrutinising her face with those deep chocolate eyes, looking into the depth of hers, taking in every detail. She attempted to smile but it wasn't coming naturally to her and under his gaze she wanted to let it all out. Rest her head on his shoulder and cry a river of tears but no she would control herself this one last time. She knew that after she left she wouldn't be able to come back for a while, she wanted to take away memories of him, memories of them together. In this world nothing lasted, no one could be sure of anything, she had learned that much and she wanted to feel it in the moment that was now.
She reached up and brushed her lips against his, lightly at first. He immediately kissed back, the motion slow, passionate, their lips moulding into one, his grip on her waist tightening, her hands running through his hair. Their kiss grew deeper, her tongue searching out for his, one of her hands now gripping the back of his neck. His hands slowly snaked up her back, steadying her. She hadn't even realised the tears sprouting out of her eyes, streaking down the side of her face as she attempted to compose her emotions. He felt her lips trembling between his, felt her body shudder, he moved back and looked into her eyes now filled with tears. "Khushi what's wrong? Khushi tell me," his voice concerned, his eyes searching hers. And he held her as she broke down for the first time since last night, as she gripped the back of his shirt tightly, hugging him, seeking protection. She let the tears spill, she wasn't able to hold them in anymore. "It's okay Khushi, shhh, shh, tell me what's wrong," he whispered, reassuringly, kissing her hair. "My...my," she attempted to mutter in between her broken sobs, he held onto her, comforting her. "My dads met with an accident," she finally managed to say. His body tensed, moving away suddenly, shock filled eyes looked down at her. She crashed into him once more, her body shaking with every breath, with every ragged sob. "And I have to leave tomorrow," her sobs were louder now, more painful. He hugged her closer, tighter now because he understood.
She lay next to him on her bed, his shirt now drenched in her tears, he let her let it all out, that's what she needed. "He'll be okay jaan, it'll all be okay," he continued to whisper, reassuring her constantly. She looked so weak, so breakable, at that moment he wanted to fight the world for her, battle against the horrible turns of fate. He felt her move now, all of a sudden her sobs seized. She had decided, she needed this, this one oblivion before she left. She placed a soft kiss on his forehead, then the lids of his eyes, slowly brushing her lips over his nose and finally reached his lips, kissing him with an intensity they had never experienced before. Her fingers slowly moved down to his shirt, shaking, fumbling at the first button, attempting to take it off. She felt his hands slowly grip her arms, moving them away. She pulled her lips back and looked deep into his eyes, accusingly. "Not today jaan," his voice was soft but had a finality to it. "Please," she was almost pleading, her tears flowing out of her eyes once more, "please Arnav." He couldn't take the pleading, he didn't want her to feel that way, but he didn't want to do what she wanted now, not when she was vulnerable, not when her decision wasn't rational. "Khushi jaan, this isn't right." "But it is. It is right!" She was adamant, he could feel her breaking apart. "Please Arnav, please," her voice a mere sob now, barely audible, her fingers once again moving to open the buttons of his shirt and this time he let her, knowing there was no other way. She resumed kissing him, he matched her passion this time, removing her top, removing his shirt, she rolled onto her back, her fingers tracing the contours of his muscles, his hot breath on her neck, filling her with passion, their bodies moving to a unique rhythm, becoming one in a blur of emotions and they let themselves go for the first time...
----
Khushi sat in the middle of her bed feeling an unusual calm taking over her, she felt lighter, a little bit more ready to fight whatever was in store. Arnav had been hesitant to leave but she had convinced him she was okay, his meeting was important and she honestly was feeling a lot better than she had been. She felt complete in his presence, safe, she knew he would take on the world for her if he had to. It was written in his eyes, in his every action.
Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by her phone ringing,
"Khushi!" Her mothers voice sounded urgent, scared. "Khushi, when are you coming?" Her words were rushed.
"Maa whats wrong?" She was panicking now, "I've booked it for tomorrow, it was too full for today."
"Kh...Khushi," she heard he mothers sobs on the other side of the phone, she was unable to form words. "Maa! What happened?" Fear was building up insider her. "Khushi your baujis paralysed!" Garima broke down, "you have to get her right now Khushi, please I need you!"
The phone fell out of Khushis grasp as she fell to the floor, fear, then sorrow, then guilt taking over her. She broke down and burst into tears as she felt the floor beneath her shake. She had been busy trying to calm herself down while her father had been fighting between life and death, while he had been losing half his battle. She felt sick at herself, at her actions...
----
Arnav hurried back up the path, a feeling he hadn't felt in years was flowing through him, something was wrong, he could feel it in every core of his being. He ran the last mile, reaching Khushis door out of breath. He knocked on her door, thumped on it. Why was she not opening the door damn it! "Khushi! KHUSHI!" He crashed into the door, breaking it open and stood frozen to the spot.
She was gone.
Only a few of her clothes lying on the floor, her bag gone.
She had left.
He closed his eyes, a mixture of emotions building up inside him.
She had left.
Without telling him.
He fell to the ground, tears slowly trailing their way down his face, knowing deep down that she wasn't going to come back...
Aankhon ke Saagar
Hotthon ke Saagar
Aankhon ke Saagar
Hotthon ke Saagar
Le doobe Hume
Le doobe Hume...
Lyrics credit: Aankhon ke Saagar by Shafqat Amanat Ali
1 comments:
superb update
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